We’re on YouTube people!! You know how I recently fell in love with makeup and all things wonderful for face beauty? Well, now Babyzilla has joined in the fun so we decided to do a beginner’s makeup tutorial and share with you on YouTube how we get ready everyday. Disclaimer…I don’t let Babyzilla wear makeup everyday, she’s only allowed to “play” makeup with me and sticks to chap sticks and glosses on a regular basis. After all, she’s only three and I want to keep her that way!
This was such a fun video to make and only afterwards when I was editing did I realize how expressive Babyzilla’s face is. Sassy pants all the way! I hope you like our “look” and at your request, we would be happy to do more makeup tutorials or any kind of Mommy and Me videos you may want to see of me and Babyzilla.
**Disclaimer, I am not pregnant and this is not me announcing that I am**
The hubby and I are ‘practicing’ making babies monthly now, hopefully soon one will stick and we will get a lil peanut but until then I want to share with you what kind of parent I will be.
What are my qualifications you ask?? Listen, I know everything there is to know about having a kid. I nannied starting as young as 15. I couldn’t even drive myself to my first gig however I was apparently responsible enough (or cheaper than good help) to take care of a 9 month old and a 1st grader every day after school from 4:00 until 6:30pm. I took care of kids in day care settings, babysat through college, and even post college on some occasions for friends with their own actual kids. I pride myself in being very knowledgeable as I have read a few books and ask my actual parent friends a ton of questions and pick their brains, so clearly I have this whole thing figured out. Plus there are the dogs, I think that in and of itself is great training, right?!?!
Here is what kind of parent I will be and what my kids will and will not do.
I will not be the crazy new mom who calls her doctor for everything strange that happens to her body. I got this! Millions of women have gone before without the help of having their doc on speed dial.Who are we kidding, I call my doctor, my doctor friends, and nurse friends for anything and everything because being in the medical sales has caused me to become a hypochondriac. I have a feeling my doctor will fire me before 5 months.
I will not change my life for a kid, this kid will fit into our life. We will still brunch and travel and host great gatherings at our home as usual.Ha, I will be lucky if we get out of the house the first 6 months. I will have forgotten what a mimosa tastes like and forget having people over, I won’t even want a housekeeper to see what state of disrepair my house has fallen into.
I will have my kids sleep trained by 3 months at the absolute latest.Yeah, just like I have my dogs sleep trained. They never wake me when they need to pee, or when there is a thunderstorm, or when they decide it would be nice to play with their ball at 3am or when there is a full moon…I could go on.
I will not allow my kids iPads/iPhones at the table, in the car, or out in public as a distraction. I was raised in a time when we had to self entertain with stupid toys at the doctors office or play the ABC/123/License Plate game on road trips. If I can do it, so can my kids. Except when they can’t and I haven’t had a mimosa in 21 months and I want to snap and give in to their every whine just so I can sip on a damn OJ and Champs mommy drink.
I will not allow my children whatever they want for dinner, I am their mother, not a short order cook. And then I will be because after working all day and dealing with the craziness that is a 9-5 I won’t give a rats ass if you want hummus and Fruit Loops for dinner, if it will keep you from throwing a fit and get something decent in your stomach, I will pull up a chair and have the same.
I will keep my house and car clean. I can have nice things and kids too. I actually don’t think this one will be hard to accomplish. My girlfriend has discovered the perfect way to keep her adorable daughter entertained and her house clean at the same time. I mean, look at the genius mom invention!
I will not lose my cool and spank my child or raise my voice. When I was naughty I got a belt or a spoon or a hand or anything close enough to grab. Then there were the looks and the groundings. I don’t think those shaped me as a person at all! I don’t think learning to respect authority and what my limits were did any good for my development as a child or adult. Oh and being a strong willed child who pushed the boundaries never led to said spankings. Who are we kidding, I deserved everyone and probably more. And before I get all the emails saying spankings aren’t good for children, my husband and I will make that call with our clones, you do you and we will do us.
I will not allow them to dictate what they wear or where we go. My kids will wear what I say and their very rare poor behavior will not cause me to change our plans and leave a grocery store buggy full of groceries. I think I have a decent sense of fashion and my children will appreciate that and agree with all my wardrobe choices for them. I will never let them leave the house in a Disney dress, a super hero cape, and their cowboy boots. Unless I am trying to get to a HH with a girlfriend and then I will care less what they wear as long as I can have one sip of a glass of wine, then they can wear what they want as long as they let me drop them off with a sitter, or a stranger. I will need the wine.
I will not teach them bad habits or bad language. But if they do shout “Fu@&ing Move Dude” at random drivers then they surely picked that up from the nanny/day care/church pre-school because we all know I would never say anything like that, ever. Oh and I definitely wouldn’t wet my pants laughing when they do. And when my daughter reaches an age to start imitating me she wouldn’t do this.
Lastly, I will not stick to a single one of these because like every mom I know, you do the best you can to keep them happy and alive and not lose your sanity some days. But I know they will be worth it and I can’t wait!
What did you think you would or wouldn’t do as a first time mom?
So I had two really great options for a blog this week, one super deep and and one about organizing. When I finally had time to sit down and write this blog, neither seemed to inspire me like they had earlier in the week. So I did a quick Google search on ‘what to write about when you have writers block’ and the first thing I saw was to write about something you love, so here is my blog on wine.
I can’t say that my love affair with wine was love at first sip but at this point in my life I can’t see a future with out him. I have become so wine crazy I get weekly texts, emails, and FB messages/posts from friends and family that pertain to wine. I guess there is something to be said about those little grapes and how happy they make me. I do frequently wonder if I have a SWF attraction to this sweet juice but then again, there are much, much worse things I could have an obsession with, so those thoughts are fleeting.
My taste in wine has grown over the years. While I like to think I know a little bit about wine I am by no means a snob. I know enough to be dangerous. I started off only liking the reds but as I have grow in my relationship with wine I have come to love the whites as well. I am a meat and potatoes girl most of the time so reds are my go to 90% of the time. I am trying to be an adult and eat more fish so I have really come to appreciate some nice Chardonnays and Pinot Grigio. Most recently I have found a fun new fling with rosé. I used to think all pink wines were for cheap dates at a pool hall but now I know and appreciate the differences of the pink wines. A blush or a white zin are still the pool hall floozy kind of wine where as a nice strong red blend rosé is a totally different story. It is like the debutant of wines. Smart, sophisticated, strong but a little sweet.
I have found many new gadgets to help me enjoy my wine and I feel as though I would be doing you a disservice by not sharing my secretes. For quick access I highly recommend the Cork Pop wine opener. It has a cutter, large needle, and CO2 cartridge for quick access. It’s the split crotch panties of the wine opener world. A little tacky but very appreciated when you are in a hurry.
Then there is the Food Saver. I originally bought it to help save money with storing food and canning in my mason jars but quickly learned there was an even better use, SAVING WINE! If you don’t go through a whole bottle a night (surprise, surprise, I usually don’t) then this is essential for saving that precious wine for the next night.
Lastly is the handy, dandy app Vivino. I have this for three purposes. You can keep track of your favorite wines, see what your friends and strangers like, and also search wines when you are standing in the middle of Tom Thumb and don’t know which one to pick to go with dinner. I used to always say ‘this is my favorite wine, I will get this again’ and then couldn’t remember the next day what the wine was unless I had a picture of the wine. This is like Pinterest for wine.
While these are my favorite wine accessories and gadgets I have found there are many, many more out there. Does anyone have these? What is your must have wine accessory/gadget?
This was written almost 2 years ago when I thought I would start a blog, thanks to 2 of my BFF’s, I finally have a platform to share it from.
Juice fasting huh? Coming from the girl who should own stock in Chick-fil-A, is a self-labeled foodie, and gets pretty hangry on an almost daily basis, this is already starting to sound like a bad idea.
So why am I doing it? I don’t really know. Maybe to drop a few pounds quickly, regain an actual energy level, sleep better at night (need/take fewer naps). Also, it wouldn’t kill me if I could get my cholesterol down. I think at last check it was 247, and not the good kind. I also know that we want to start a family and while I do think my parents did an amazing job raising my sister and I, I don’t think our dietary habits are the best. I know that eating better is a must if I want to have and see my family grow up. Plus, how can I get my imaginary children to eat well if I don’t?
A friend watched a documentary called ‘Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead’ and exclaimed she was getting a juicer. I have watched documentaries on healthy eating and was completely un-phased by them in the past. I’ve read the books about how terrible our food industry treats and processes chickens, cow, pigs, etc. Has that stopped me? Hell no, I watched ‘Super Size Me’ one night and went to Whataburger the next morning for a sausage breakfast on a bun and a Dr. Pepper. I don’t want to live a life without bacon and lattes and donuts and….the list is endless. But I do think that all of these things can be enjoyed in moderation. What got me about the documentary ‘Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead’ is that everyone talked about how great they felt, how much energy they had, how well they slept. All of these are things I want to feel and do but I am such an instant gratification kind of person that if I don’t see results quickly, I give up easily. I don’t think 5 days will be easy but I think it is needed and will be worth it. Plus, after two and a half years on Ambien, needing Xanax to get off the Ambien, and still needing them on occasions, I could really go for a good, solid, non-interrupted night sleep. Especially one that didn’t end up in me getting packages from Zappos and Amazon a couple of days later and vaguely remembering I had done a little shopping on Ambien. If you missed that post, here is my back story with ambien.
So here is the plan: 5 days, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks, nothing but JUICE! I ventured to Sam’s, Wal Mart, Tom Thumb, and finally to Whole Foods but I think I got everything I need…for the first 3 days. Ugh, that was the worst part so far. There was A LOT of counting involved for a grocery list. Then, having to endure the madness that is Sam’s and Wal Mart on a Sunday afternoon when every Tom, Dick, and Harry and their 5-32 kids and/or family members are strolling around these fine establishments like they don’t have a damn thing to do. Sorry, already getting hangry and I haven’t even started. I got about 70% of what I needed at Sam’s and for just over $50! I was pretty pumped, not to mention, I should be set for some of days four and five with this run. Next was upstairs to Wal Mart, kind of convenient minus the people. I got about 20% at this stop plus an electric kettle. Part of the fast is drinking hot water with lemon and/or ginger in the A.M. and herbal tea in the P.M. so I thought the $30 electric kettle would be a good investment considering I am going to be a slave to cleaning this juicer for what I am sure will be the longest week of my life. Next to Tom Thumb where I only managed to get half of what was left on my list. However, I did decide this would be the ideal location to pick up some Choice USDA tenderloin filet, a potato, and a nice bottle or red wine. If I am going to do this, I must do it right. Going out with a bang tonight! Last stop was Whole Foods, they were the only place I could find a watermelon because of course I would chose to do a fast when half of the items on the list are not ‘in-season.’ Makes you realize how spoiled we are that there really isn’t an ‘in-season’ in the good ol’ U.S. of A.
I get home and have the steak marinating, the potato cooking, and the wine chilling. I am anxious, nervous, excited, scared, and as ready as I will ever be to do this. Being on my ‘sabbatical’ (a.k.a. unemployed) for another week and with Kyle out of town so he doesn’t get injured by a starving and irrational fiancée, I am literally about to enjoy my last meal….for a week.
I was going to take a good pic of the steak and potato but I couldn’t work the camera just right to make it look blog-worthy and so I gave up because it was getting cold. The caption was going to read, “wish you were here Kyle.”
So days one and two have come and gone. Here is my overall opinion of juicing thus far. This junk is for the birds! Ok, maybe that is a little extreme, but this isn’t fun. I miss chewing my meals. I miss cheese. I miss my wine. Sidebar: why can’t wine be considered part of juicing? I mean, it is the juice of a grape and when you are first detoxing it feels like a massive hangover but with no good stories from the night before. Just lots of trips to the bathroom.
Here is a quick run down of what I was supposed to be consuming each day.
Wake Up: Drink 2 glasses of hot water (add lemon and/or ginger)
Breakfast: Go Orange or Red Juice
Mid-Morning: Drink 16 oz unflavored coconut water
Lunch: Go Green Juice
Afternoon snack: Go Green or Red Juice
Dinner: Go Green Juice
“Desert”: Go Purple or Orange Juice
Bedtime: Drink herbal tea (with pure stevia for sweetness if desired)
Throughout the day: Drink lots of water
Here is what I thought about each day:
Wake Up: Yay, I get to play with my new electric tea kettle. While that is warming up I will start my first juice. So I gather everything up and before I can start with the juicing, the tea kettle has beat me and is ready to go. I was still trying to figure out how to peel and cut the ginger root. Outside of a sushi restaurant I had never used ginger. I get my hot water with lemon and ginger poured.
Breakfast Juice: Carrot Apple Lemon (a.k.a. Teaser Juice)
This stuff tastes AMAZING! Hence why I call it the teaser juice, I was thinking they would all taste this good. Wrong! It was clean, refreshing, and actually tasted great. I can do this for 5 days no sweat. While I am at it, why don’t I do the green juice for lunch and store it. I had read that you don’t want to make too many juices too far in advance, maximum one day in advance. Here is a good use for all those cute mason jars and plastic lids. So I juice my first green lunch.
Mid-Morning: I am supposed to drink coconut water. I can’t even begin to tell you how let down I am by coconut water. This stuff in no way tastes like a pina colada. Maybe I should be let down by every tropical paradise place I have been to for selling me a delicious, frothy, cold, fabulous drink of lies! I take a tiny swig to see what it taste like and I want to run to the pantry and devour a whole box of vanilla wafers. If I am supposed to drink this junk for 5 days I am going to have to severely improve it. I mix a smidge of ‘coconut’ water with regular water and a good squirt of lime juice. Nope, still taste like death. I think after a few drinks I could get used to it. Then after another couple I realize I am lying to myself. Poured it out and drank the regular stuff, water.
Lunch “Garden Variety” Juice:
Yup, breakfast was just a ploy. I am not a fan of greens for the most part. I choke them down when I need to or can. At this point I still feel good and am motivated. Again, I choke down the greens in juice form and take a nap to try and forget about how quickly this took a turn for the worse.
Afternoon snack: I slept through it. Figured I was trying to help my body heal from the ‘lunch’ and would just do dinner when I arose from my coma.
After my disastrous lunch, I went for the Red Juice for dinner. “Un-beet-able” Juice.
I think at this point the detox was setting in. I felt horrible and was not looking forward to juice again. I am a foodie damn it!! I love food! I want food at all times. Juice was not doing it for me. I feel like I have been hit by a hangover; horrible headache, light headed, tummy not happy at all. I smell the dinner juice and a wave a nausea washes over me. I take a tiny sip and almost vomit. I caved. One day in and I am too weak. I snap and make a ham sandwich. And I don’t feel bad at all. Once my stomach settles down a little, I take a couple of Tylenol and its lights out, for 12 hours. Figure the more I sleep through this juice fast, the less juice I have to drink. Screw the tea, it’s bedtime.
After my 12 hours of sleeping, I still have a headache and am starving. I make my hot water breakfast again. Ugh! I was more excited about my breakfast juice as it was a similar recipe to day one, except that dang ginger root again instead of lemon. I over do it on the ginger. It’s not as great as the Teaser Juice but still better than the green and red from yesterday. I muscle through. If you are a fan of ginger, you will like it. I don’t hate ginger and I don’t love it, more or less just tolerate it.
Mid-morning coconut water, ha! Whatever.
Lunch: “Green Lemonade”
So I screwed up and forgot the kale for my lunch juice, luckily. This was more tolerable seeing as how it was mostly cucumber and spinach. I don’t know if I could have handled the kale but I drank it with little resistance from my gag reflexes.
Feeling better and with a doctors appointment I make it out of the house today. But not without a nap first. After my adventure out I have to run by my sister’s house and drop something off. A dear friend had mentioned that if I felt I needed protein (and I do, hence the daily stops to Chick-fil-A) that a tablespoon of natural peanut butter would help. Thankfully my sister had some, which was the best tasting peanut butter in all the world. I decide to not be a slave to the juice schedule, after all, we know our own bodies better than anyone and mine was screaming for something to gnaw on. I stop off at Nature’s Grocers and grab their amazing chicken breast and some of their natural peanut butter.
Dinner: I made my first purple juice. “Peach (or pear) Pie Delight”
At this point, I figure if I am getting most of these things in my body we are doing good. I only had pears, which I am good with, and 1 handful of blueberries might have turned into 3 but who is counting. This drink is the Jekyll and Hyde of Juices. It smelled like dead fish but it tasted like PIE! Either that or all my olfactory senses are completely out of whack from this delirious adventure. Who cares, I kind of enjoyed this drink. It was definitely a desert drink. Afterwards I may or may not have had a small chicken breast, some blueberries, and another spoonful of peanut butter. I didn’t feel guilty at all and slept like a baby with a clear conscious.
I am clearly behind on how many juices I am supposed to be consuming but feeling pretty good.
This is NOT my favorite juice for breakfast. Definitely going to stick to the Teaser juice from now on. As I sit here trying to down this, all I can think is if you are going to call it a Sunrise there should be Tequila involved. Sadly, there is not.
This is as far as I make it.
My original goal was to do this for 10 days. HA! What a joke. Then my revised plan was for 5. I will almost get through day three and then I make a judgment call. If I only do 2.5 – 3 days, that is something to be proud of. All I know is that I will be inhaling some Eddie V’s lobster mac and cheese as soon as I feel like I have done a good job, let’s call it my reward.
Have you ever tried a juice cleanse, please tell me someone actually enjoyed this experience?
It was Fall 2010 and I got a last minute surprise to travel over seas to London. This being my first trip ‘across the pond,’ or any large body of water for that matter, I was a little nervous. My doctor gave me a prescription for Ambien to help me sleep so that I wouldn’t realize I was flying over the ocean. I am not a bad flyer, but I’m also not pilot material. Actually, I take that back, I would make a damn good pilot because I would have control of the ‘wheel.” But I digress.
So my sister and I board the plane for London town, and being that it was an overnight flight, I thought, I will just pop this little white pill and sleep through the whole thing. That was pretty much the last I remember with the exception of me waking my sister, who could quite possibly sleep through a tornado, to adjust our ‘sleeping positions’ every 20 minutes or so. Thankfully we had three seats to ourselves. She did, however, capture a picture of me pounding a small one and a half serving size of wine and an entire bag of extra cheddar goldfish while trying to listen to soothing music because I couldn’t sleep.
Needless to say, it didn’t work on my first try. After landing in London we did what any good traveler would do to get over jet lag and hit the town. After a long day of sight seeing and an evening tour of “Jack the Ripper” we hit a pub for a pint and some fish and chips then went to bed early. I thought to my small-minded self, “You didn’t sleep AT ALL last night, take your little magic pill, get ready for bed, then sleep like a baby.” Before I could finish brushing my teeth and washing my face I could feel the mixture of sleep deprivation and Ambien setting in and could hardly walk down the hall to the bedroom. I was quite literally bouncing off the walls like a stumbling drunk to get to bed. But man did I sleep!
For a majority of the remainder of the trip and for several months after I did great, I could sleep like a normal person without the help of sleep aids. Then the year from hell hit. I had a less than amazing work situation and one thing after another and I found myself needing Ambien every night to sleep. In the span of two years I never went without Ambien to sleep. I even got so desperate for a good night sleep that I eventually had to take more than my recommended does just to get a few hours of rest. While it wasn’t an ideal situation and I was extremely lucky to have never driven or done harm to myself or anyone else, my friends and family had some good laughs over the years.
The crazy things I did on Ambien:
Went shopping on Zappos, Amazon, and a dozen other sites. It was like Christmas when packages would show up and I would have no idea what was in them. The best was when I got on a green kick and bought $650 worth of green clothes on Zappos and most of them were green. Thank goodness for easy return policies!
Became obsessed with salads in mason jars and pinned probably 25 recipes on Pinterst one night. Leave it to my non-filtering sister to point it out the next morning on Facebook. I deserved it. Guess who never made a single salad in a mason jar?
Told my now husband (boyfriend at the time) that I loved him. The next morning when I asked him why he didn’t say it back he said, “I didn’t think you would remember, you were so high on Ambien.” I think it has become my truth serum because a couple of months later I asked him to move in with me. I had never lived with anyone other than a roommate. When it dawns on you at 3:30am on your way to the loo that you just asked someone to move in with you, you kind of want to crap your pants. Good thing those two moves were the best decisions I ever made on Ambien, who knows where we would be if I hadn’t been on drugs. 😉
Then there was the most recent time when I decided I liked one flavor of BelVita breakfast bars I had picked up at the store, so I decided to buy one of every flavor.
What I learned:
Problem number one: NEVER and I repeat NEVER should you take Ambien while drinking. I know this now and am lucky, VERY lucky, to have not been another accidental suicide from drinking and Ambien.
Problem number two: Never get online or on your phone while on Ambien, not everyone will be so lucky to lock down the best husband ever while on sleep aids 😉
Problem number three: Be cautious of how often you are taking Ambien, it is very habit forming. If you think you don’t have a problem with it, then you probably do. Seek help anywhere you can!
While Ambien was all fun and games and luckily no one ever got hurt, I realized very quickly how easy it was to become an addict. When I would try to sleep without Ambien I would have panic attacks. I had to cut back my dosage slowly and alternate nights OFF of Ambien with a night ON Xanax. It wasn’t pretty but I managed to get off of a two year binge of Ambien with the help of Xanax and a lot of sleepless nights. I am grateful to say now that I only take Ambien once or twice a month at the absolute most; usually when I just want a good restless night of sleep.
Please know that if you are not a good sleeper, you are not alone. If you have trouble sleeping please talk to someone, anyone! Start with herbal options, working out, eating better, anything but Ambien. It is funny now, and my friends and family get a good laugh at the crazy things that I did and said but it can be life altering to have an addiction. I am very lucky that shopping, Pinterest, and crazy texts were the worst that happened.
Have you ever had a crazy experience or shopping problem on Ambien?